The sad winters are here again...the coldness masking everything bright n glowing, turning into frost!!! I plan something for everyday, something small, something big, something for myself n something for you but alas!!!, i just don't get out of the bed. This warm bed feels like a prison....its like ice is building over my pool of thoughts. Everything is being directed to tomorrow, just like that!
OHHH!!!!
i have to get up n i have to go out n i have to talk n i have to write n i have to do a lot of other stuff..... BUT I DONT WANT TO GET OUT OF THE DAMN WARM BED!!!! Ughhh!!!! I am such a baby! HELP ME plssssssssssss.
Thursday, November 26, 2009
Friday, October 23, 2009
WHY?
Why is it that sometimes you have all the answers with you but no solution seems to come around? Why would there be such a chaos of thoughts and reasons where just a yes or no would suffice?
I m what i am and i m finally getting to what i am . what if knowing myself, carving out myself requires some unwanted decisions??? Does it mean i should stop and not do it for the fear that my friends would think that i have lost my sense of judgement? We all have failed some tests in life, but it has only helped us to know what to do n what not to do. Has'nt it?
Why should be questioned by others for subjecting my life to difficulties, when i know these very difficulties are the lessons of my life. And every decision i make is the test i give for learning that lesson. Its my Report Card, i m my own teacher, my own student. All i need you to do is to never let me stop learning.
I m what i am and i m finally getting to what i am . what if knowing myself, carving out myself requires some unwanted decisions??? Does it mean i should stop and not do it for the fear that my friends would think that i have lost my sense of judgement? We all have failed some tests in life, but it has only helped us to know what to do n what not to do. Has'nt it?
Why should be questioned by others for subjecting my life to difficulties, when i know these very difficulties are the lessons of my life. And every decision i make is the test i give for learning that lesson. Its my Report Card, i m my own teacher, my own student. All i need you to do is to never let me stop learning.
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
Sunday, October 18, 2009
NOT DECIDED YET
I have a map but i have lost my Compass!!! I have my plans but i have lost the directions!!!
Thers so much i always wanted to do......that i still want ....that i can do right now but the Light is still not there, the fire is missing!!!!
The "Why" of my being is just lost somewhere between the clouds of wants and needs, and i m trying my best to find it, to catch hold of it before my time is lost for forever!!!
Thers so much i always wanted to do......that i still want ....that i can do right now but the Light is still not there, the fire is missing!!!!
The "Why" of my being is just lost somewhere between the clouds of wants and needs, and i m trying my best to find it, to catch hold of it before my time is lost for forever!!!
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
Ta dee da dum
i dnt kno where to begin from. there's so much going on in my head from past year n a half and i just cudnt find the time to put it down in words. i fell out of love, fell right back into it, found a lost friend , lost another friend. became responsible but the reason is now lost. Ran after my dear dream but cudnt reach out to hold it in my hands. fell for my best friend.
Was rejected and ignored and thrown out of someone's life just like that.
dreams have seized to exist, they have stopped somehow. i just live today and expect tomorrow to come with no plans, no motive, no reason, no hope.every freakin day is same, all of them , start to end. it freaked me out and sent me into a shell, cudnt come out,i wasnt ready, wasnt ready to take on the cape again.
love is a distant dream, passion is non existnent and desire has died long ago. the only craving that i carry is for books and movies. my only saviour, they are. keep my head in place.
Found a lot of backpackers along the way, carrying same kind of load on their back, became friends and partners for happy times. there are no sad days anymore, not even sad moments. i love all days, i love all around me. i have somehow attained Postivity.
Was rejected and ignored and thrown out of someone's life just like that.
dreams have seized to exist, they have stopped somehow. i just live today and expect tomorrow to come with no plans, no motive, no reason, no hope.every freakin day is same, all of them , start to end. it freaked me out and sent me into a shell, cudnt come out,i wasnt ready, wasnt ready to take on the cape again.
love is a distant dream, passion is non existnent and desire has died long ago. the only craving that i carry is for books and movies. my only saviour, they are. keep my head in place.
Found a lot of backpackers along the way, carrying same kind of load on their back, became friends and partners for happy times. there are no sad days anymore, not even sad moments. i love all days, i love all around me. i have somehow attained Postivity.
Friday, April 10, 2009
Something in me died today and the worst part i dont know how to cry for it. There's a friend of mine who probably mattered to me more than anyone i have in my life. We had some really fun time together and he was the only one who could understand me exactly the way i wanted to be understood. Now he tells me that he can't help ignoring me because i have not kept up with smartness level he had decided for me.
He wouldn't accept me as his friend for i let the very same people who hurt me to be a part of my life again.
He wouldn't accept me as his friend for i let the very same people who hurt me to be a part of my life again.
Friday, March 6, 2009
i am stuck in the middle of a blob of confusion. I don't seem to understand ,no matter how hard i try, that what keeps the world going round? Why everything has to be result of something and precursor of something more at the same time.
I need more zest in my life without thinking what would trigger it or what would follow it
I need more zest in my life without thinking what would trigger it or what would follow it
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