I want to be very very very happy. and i thought i would be. i don't keep secrets and i don't tell lies any more. but i pretend, i pretend a lot...
keeping up appearances you see!!!
An Instagram picture becomes mirror of your life. one expensive dinner pic becomes affluence, shopping picture becomes indulgence, smiling couple becomes bliss and thats it!
All you need is a picture a day of you smiling to hide 23 hours 58 seconds of misery, confusion, loneliness and hopelessness. and people around the world buy it. everyone does it and everyone buys it. such a bunch of headless chickens we all are.
No words, no conversations, no truths exchanged ever. I am not even sure if theres anyone who knows all of me or wants to know all of me. Its scary to think that i trust no one in my life. My husband doesn't even bother, he never did and i never paid attention to the fact that he never asked me anything about myself. It was always me carrying on with my overshare syndrome. And maybe i made myself believe that he knows me! That the flowers he used to send and the 30 phone calls a day he used to make were my ideas not his. And now when i have started expecting without telling him, there are no flowers, no phone calls, no messages.
i have spent 4 years telling him that its hurtful when:
he blames me wrongfully, by telling lies
he tells lies
he tells lies to cover up lies
he never says sorry
he never lets go after a quarrel even when i have apologised
he makes sure he can say everything mean to make me cry
he lets me cry and never leaves the bed to make me stop
he never tries to fix us
he makes me feel like no one
and still you'll never find an unhappy face on Facebook or a miserable me on Instagram. In the world of social media and for people outside my bedroom , I am queen of all things wonderful!!!
keeping up appearances you see!!!
An Instagram picture becomes mirror of your life. one expensive dinner pic becomes affluence, shopping picture becomes indulgence, smiling couple becomes bliss and thats it!
All you need is a picture a day of you smiling to hide 23 hours 58 seconds of misery, confusion, loneliness and hopelessness. and people around the world buy it. everyone does it and everyone buys it. such a bunch of headless chickens we all are.
No words, no conversations, no truths exchanged ever. I am not even sure if theres anyone who knows all of me or wants to know all of me. Its scary to think that i trust no one in my life. My husband doesn't even bother, he never did and i never paid attention to the fact that he never asked me anything about myself. It was always me carrying on with my overshare syndrome. And maybe i made myself believe that he knows me! That the flowers he used to send and the 30 phone calls a day he used to make were my ideas not his. And now when i have started expecting without telling him, there are no flowers, no phone calls, no messages.
i have spent 4 years telling him that its hurtful when:
he blames me wrongfully, by telling lies
he tells lies
he tells lies to cover up lies
he never says sorry
he never lets go after a quarrel even when i have apologised
he makes sure he can say everything mean to make me cry
he lets me cry and never leaves the bed to make me stop
he never tries to fix us
he makes me feel like no one
and still you'll never find an unhappy face on Facebook or a miserable me on Instagram. In the world of social media and for people outside my bedroom , I am queen of all things wonderful!!!
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